Quote of the Day (2013-09-30)

Living is easy with eyes closed

Misunderstanding all you see

Source: John Lennon

Quote of the Day (2013-09-29)

H.I.: We figured there was too much happiness here for just the two of us, so we figured the next logical step was to have us a critter.

Source: Raising Arizona

Quote of the Day (2013-09-28)

Fezzik: You never said anything about killing anyone.

Vizzini: I've hired you to help me start a war. It's an prestigious line of work, with a long and glorious tradition.

Fezzik: I just don't think it's right, killing an innocent girl.

Vizzini: Am I going MAD, or did the word "think" escape your lips? You were not hired for your brains, you hippopotamic land mass.

Inigo Montoya: I agree with Fezzik.

Vizzini: Oh, the sot has spoken. What happens to her is not truly your concern. I will kill her. And remember this, never forget this: when I found you, you were so slobbering drunk, you couldn't buy Brandy!

[turning to Fezzik]

Vizzini: And you: friendless, brainless, helpless, hopeless! Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed in Greenland!

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2013-09-27)

ARTHUR: Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't bother to carve 'aaggggh'. He'd just say it!

MAYNARD: Well, that's what's carved in the rock!

GALAHAD: Perhaps he was dictating.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2013-09-26)

Jim Hacker: "Bernard, how did Sir Humphrey know I was with Dr. Cartwright?"

Bernard Woolley: "God moves in a mysterious way."

Jim Hacker: "Let me make one thing perfectly clear: Humphrey is not God, okay."

Bernard Woolley: "Will you tell him or shall I?"

Jim Hacker: "Tell me how he knew where I was."

Bernard Woolley: "Well, confidentially Minister, everything you tell me is in complete confidence, so equally, and I am sure you appreciate this, and by appreciate I don't actually mean appreciate, I mean understand, that everything Sir Humphrey tells me is also in complete confidence, as indeed everything I tell you is in complete confidence, and for that matter everything I tell Sir Humphrey is in complete confidence."

Jim Hacker: "So?"

Bernard Woolley: "So in complete confidence, I am confident that you understand that for me to keep Sir Humphrey's confidence and your confidence, means that conversations between him and me must be completely confidential, as confidential in fact as conversations between you and me are completely confidential."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2013-09-25)

Gale: All right, ya hayseeds, it's a stick-up. Everybody freeze. Everybody down on the ground.

Feisty Hayseed: Well, which is it, young feller? You want I should freeze or get down on the ground? Mean to say, if'n I freeze, I can't rightly drop. And if'n I drop, I'm a-gonna be in motion. You see...

Gale: Shut up!

Feisty Hayseed: Okay then.

Gale: Everybody down on the ground!

Evelle: Y'all can just forget that part about freezin' now.

Gale: Better still to get down there.

Evelle: Yeah, y'all hear that, don't ya?

[Everybody lays down. Gale looks at the now-empty teller windows]

Gale: Shit! Where'd all the tellers go?

Teller's voices: We're down here, sir.

Evelle: They're on the floor as you commanded, Gale.

Source: Raising Arizona

Quote of the Day (2013-09-24)

Sir Humphrey: "Minister, you said you wanted the administration figures reduced, didn't you?"

Jim Hacker: "Yes."

Sir Humphrey: "So we reduced the figures."

Jim Hacker: "But only the figures, not the number of administrators."

Sir Humphrey: "Well of course not."

Jim Hacker: "Well that is not what I meant."

Sir Humphrey: "Well really Minister, one is not a mind-reader, is one? You said reduce the figures, so we reduced the figures."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2013-09-23)

Rebbecca: Oh, why can't more men send flowers?

Sam: I didn't know Mormons couldn't send flowers.

Rebbecca: I said more men, not Mormons.

Sam: I know they can't dance.

Norm: No Sammy, that's the -- that's the Amish.

Sam: Why can't Mormons send flowers?

Rebbecca: They can.

Sam: What are you talking about?

Rebbecca: I just wish someone would send me some damn roses.

Sam: Why does it have to be a Mormon?

Rebbecca: Oh! [storms off]

Sam: Some people you just can't discuss religion with.

Source: Cheers

Quote of the Day (2013-09-22)

Frasier: Afternoon, all.

Woody: Hey, how's it going, Dr. Crane?

Frasier: Oh, the usual. The crying, the tantrums, the bed-wetting.

Woody: Yeah, that's fatherhood.

Frasier: No, that's my therapy group. What a buncha losers.

Source: Cheers

Quote of the Day (2013-09-21)

H&H wouldn't let us use the bathroom when we were on strike. They put a cramp in our solidarity.

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2013-09-20)

Sir Humphrey: "If there had been investigations, which there haven't, or not necessarily, or I'm not at liberty to say whether there have, there would have been a project team which, had it existed, on which I cannot comment, which would now have disbanded, if it had existed, and the members returned to their original departments, if indeed there had been any such members."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2013-09-19)

Frasier: I remember the very first time I ever held him [Frederick] in my arms as a newborn. It was as if everything else in the universe simply melted away. There was just a father, a son, and the distant sound of Lilith saying, "If you ever come near me again, Frasier, I'll drop you with a deer rifle."

Source: Frasier

Quote of the Day (2013-09-18)

"It's smart. It's a smart line, and a smart crowd will appreciate it. And I'm not going to dumb it down for some bonehead mass audience!"

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2013-09-17)

Carol: OK, we all have these terrible stories to get over, and you-...

Melvin Udall: It's not true. Some have great stories, pretty stories that take place at lakes with boats and friends and noodle salad. Just no one in this car. But, a lot of people, that's their story. Good times, noodle salad. What makes it so hard is not that you had it bad, but that you're that pissed that so many others had it good.

Source: As Good As It Gets

Quote of the Day (2013-09-16)

[C.D. is helping Chris with his first letter to Roxanne]

C.D. Bales: Let's take a look at that letter...

Chris McConnell: I think it's really good!

C.D. Bales: "Dear Roxanne, how's it going? Want to have a drink sometime? If you do, check this box."

Source: Roxanne

Quote of the Day (2013-09-15)

Jim Hacker: "When you give your evidence to the Think Tank, are you going to support my view that the Civil Service is over manned and feather-bedded, or not? Yes or no? Straight answer."

Sir Humphrey: "Well Minister, if you ask me for a straight answer, then I shall say that, as far as we can see, looking at it by and large, taking one thing with another in terms of the average of departments, then in the final analysis it is probably true to say, that at the end of the day, in general terms, you would probably find that, not to put too fine a point on it, there probably wasn't very much in it one way or the other. As far as one can see, at this stage."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2013-09-14)

Jim Hacker: "Don't tell me about the press. I know exactly who reads the papers:

- The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country;

- The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country;

- The Times is read by people who actually do run the country;

- The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country;

- The Financial Times is read by people who own the country;

- The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country;

- And the Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is."

Sir Humphrey: "Prime Minister, what about the people who read the Sun?"

Bernard Woolley: "Sun readers don't care who runs the country, as long as she's got big tits."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2013-09-13)

Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: God, I hate this part. I'm always afraid I've broken something.

Michael Garabaldi: It'll be fine. I've done this before.

[the computer restarts]

Michael Garabaldi: Ah, Told ya. Computer

[pause]

Michael Garabaldi: Computer?

Sparky the Computer: Hey, what do you want?

Michael Garabaldi: Run diagnostics.

Sparky the Computer: What, you got a broken arm or something? I got a station to run here!

Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: Computer.

Sparky the Computer: I know, do a diagnostic. So, maybe Level 42 doesn't get its quota of oxygen today because I'm distracted, but if it makes you happy!

Michael Garabaldi: Stop!

Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: Garabaldi?

Michael Garabaldi: I just remembered, they tried to install Artificial Intelligence subroutines when the station went operational. They shut it down right away because it didn't work right. Must have come back on-line when the system re-booted.

Cmdr. Susan Ivanova: Great! How do we shut it down?

Sparky the Computer: I heard that! Are you two easily offended, or what?

Source: Babylon 5

Quote of the Day (2013-09-12)

Buttercup: We'll never survive.

Westley: Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2013-09-11)

Jim Hacker: "Now look, I realise that you have to have loyalty to your colleagues, but you also have a broader loyalty to Cabinet and its policies."

Sir Humphrey: "I agree."

Jim Hacker: "You agree??"

Sir Humphrey: "Yes."

Jim Hacker: "You agree ... with me??"

Sir Humphrey: "I agree with you."

Jim Hacker: "Who do you agree with?"

Sir Humphrey: "With you."

Jim Hacker: "Not with Sir Frank?"

Sir Humphrey: "No."

Jim Hacker: "You're not arguing with me?"

Sir Humphrey: "No... Perhaps I haven't made myself quite clear. I agree with you."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2013-09-10)

Kramer: "I just took a bath, Jerry. A bath!"

Jerry: "No good?"

Kramer: "It's disgusting. I'm sitting there in a tepid pool of my own filth. All kinds of microscopic parasites and organisms having sex all around me."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2013-09-09)

Olive Penderghast: Due to his "condition," Micah was sent on an extended visit to his grandparents' in Palatka, Florida. And if there's one thing worse than chlamydia, it's Florida.

Source: Easy A

Quote of the Day (2013-09-08)

I read the news today oh, boy

Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire

And though the holes were rather small

They had to count them all

Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall



Source: John Lennon

Quote of the Day (2013-09-07)

Tyler Durden: [pointing at an emergency instruction manual on a plane] You know why they put oxygen masks on planes?

Narrator: So you can breath.

Tyler Durden: Oxygen gets you high. In a catastrophic emergency, you're taking giant panicked breaths. Suddenly you become euphoric, docile. You accept your fate. It's all right here. Emergency water landing - 600 miles an hour. Blank faces, calm as Hindu cows.

Narrator: That's, um... That's an interesting theory.

Source: Fight Club

Quote of the Day (2013-09-06)

It's only a flesh wound.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2013-09-05)

Olive Penderghast: Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80's movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life.

Source: Easy A

Quote of the Day (2013-09-04)

[Marge is working at a real estate firm]

Lionel Hutz: I've been getting a lot of calls about you, Marge. People just love your no-pressure approach.

Marge: Well, you know what we say: the right house for the right person.

Lionel Hutz: I'm going to let you in on a little secret. The right house is the house that's for sale. And the right person is anyone.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2013-09-03)

Vizzini: I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains.

Westley: You're that smart?

Vizzini: Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?

Westley: Yes.

Vizzini: Morons.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2013-09-02)

Tom: I always just hoped that, that I'd meet some nice friendly girl, like the look of her, hope the look of me didn't make her physically sick, then pop the question and, um, settle down and be happy. It worked for my parents. Well, apart from the divorce and all that.

Source: Four Weddings And A Funeral

Quote of the Day (2013-09-01)

Olive Penderghast: If he's so smart, why is your boyfriend 22 years old and still in high school?

Marianne: Because, Olive, it's His choice!

Olive Penderghast: Oh, really? His choice? He just *wants* to be repeating his senior year for, like, the fourth time 'cause he can't pass a single test?

Marianne: No, silly,

[points up]

Marianne: His. His, with a capital H. If the Good Lord had wanted Micah to graduate, he would have given him the right answers.

Olive Penderghast: [laughs] I'm sorry, but, I mean, really? You gotta be shittin' me, woman.

Source: Easy A